<!DOCTYPE html>
<html>
<head>
<meta charset="UTF-8">
<title>She’s Tired by PanickingTara</title>
<style type="text/css">

body { background-color: #ffffff; }
.CI {
text-align:center;
margin-top:0px;
margin-bottom:0px;
padding:0px;
}
.center   {text-align: center;}
.cover    {text-align: center;}
.full     {width: 100%; }
.quarter  {width: 25%; }
.smcap    {font-variant: small-caps;}
.u        {text-decoration: underline;}
.bold     {font-weight: bold;}
</style>
</head>
<body>
<h1><a href="https://archiveofourown.org/works/26033560">She’s Tired</a> by <a class='authorlink' href='https://archiveofourown.org/users/PanickingTara/pseuds/PanickingTara'>PanickingTara</a></h1>

<table class="full">

<tr><td><b>Category:</b></td><td>The Walking Dead (TV)</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Genre:</b></td><td>Emotional Hurt/Comfort, F/M, Hurt/Comfort, Insomnia, Nightmares, Substance Abuse, Verbal Abuse</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Language:</b></td><td>English</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Status:</b></td><td>Completed</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Published:</b></td><td>2020-08-21</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Updated:</b></td><td>2020-08-21</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Packaged:</b></td><td>2021-05-18 02:36:07</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Rating:</b></td><td>Teen And Up Audiences</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Warnings:</b></td><td>Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Chapters:</b></td><td>1</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Words:</b></td><td>1,913</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Publisher:</b></td><td>archiveofourown.org</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Story URL:</b></td><td>https://archiveofourown.org/works/26033560</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Author URL:</b></td><td>https://archiveofourown.org/users/PanickingTara/pseuds/PanickingTara</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Summary:</b></td><td><div class="userstuff">
              <p>Carol is tired and hasn’t been sleeping. As she’s in her room tonight, she’s confronted with a ghost from her past, keeping her company before her person shows up. </p>
<p>Set post-season 10</p>
<p>Rated for use of foul language.</p>
            </div></td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Relationships:</b></td><td>Daryl Dixon/Carol Peletier</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Comments:</b></td><td>1</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Kudos:</b></td><td>23</td></tr>

</table>

<a name="section0001"><h2>She’s Tired</h2></a>
<div class="story"><div class="userstuff module">
    
    <p>It has been at least thirty hours since she's gotten any sleep, and she's fucking exhausted. She also hasn't left her room in the time that she has been awake. Carol is so tired, but sleeping is scarier to deal with than being awake. The hallucinations, she can deal with, but the nightmares bring terrors, and the last thing she wants to see is those she loves dying again because of her.</p>
<p> </p>
<p>Waking up in a cold sweat with her heart racing is such a shitty feeling, and it seems that every single time she tries to get some rest, she only gets an hour or two before the terrors begin.</p>
<p> </p>
<p>Maybe this is her punishment for being a monster. Being plagued by things she doesn't want to see. Or maybe her punishment is extreme sleep deprivation due to her being such an awful person. Regardless, it is working, and she's very quickly reaching her breaking point.</p>
<p> </p>
<p>She knows she should probably sleep tonight, but as the sun sets and the moon is visible, her ghosts come out to haunt her, showing her her sins, reminding her that she deserves this. So Carol gets out of her bed and walks to her bathroom. She opens up the medicine cabinet above the sink, seeing her tired eyes in the reflection of the mirror.</p>
<p> </p>
<p>Her pills are almost gone. Partly because Daryl asked her to give them to him, and he did end up taking half the bottle from her, and partly because she's been eating them like they're candy for the past week. She's upset that he took them, because those are what keeps her away from nightmares, and he doesn't realize what he did to her by taking them.</p>
<p> </p>
<p>With a sigh, Carol pops two of the last three pills into her mouth and swallows them. As she puts the lid back on the bottle, tears try to flood her vision, but she's able to fight them off as she goes back to her bed.</p>
<p> </p>
<p>"Go to sleep, bitch."</p>
<p> </p>
<p>Carol turns her head and is faced with a ghost she hasn't seen in a long time. So many years have passed that she could almost forget what he looked like.</p>
<p> </p>
<p>"Go away," Carol murmurs, already frustrated.</p>
<p> </p>
<p>"I'm not going nowhere. Go to sleep so I can beat your ass in your dreams." Ed grinned.</p>
<p> </p>
<p>"This isn't your house. Go away," Carol tiredly says.</p>
<p> </p>
<p>"This isn't your house either. It belongs to your shitty redneck friend. You don't deserve shit," Ed sneers.</p>
<p> </p>
<p>The tears come back to Carol's eyes.</p>
<p> </p>
<p>"He's not shitty. And I know I don't deserve shit. You made sure I would remember that forever," Carol mumbles. Ed laughs at her and steps closer to her bed.</p>
<p> </p>
<p>"I'll hit you," He taunts. Carol shakes her head.</p>
<p> </p>
<p>"You can't. I know you're not real. You can't hurt me."</p>
<p> </p>
<p>"If I can't hurt you, then why the fuck are you crying? You're a monster, you ugly worthless cunt," He taunts. Tears start to spill over her lashes, and she backs herself up on her bed, wanting to get away from her dead husband.</p>
<p> </p>
<p>"Please just go," Carol says softly. Ed steps closer to her. Carol hears a knock at the door, but she ignores it as Ed starts talking again.</p>
<p> </p>
<p>"Kill yourself. Nobody loves you. Lock your door and use your gun and kill yourself so you can come and live with me again. You need to die, Carol!" Ed yells at her.</p>
<p> </p>
<p>"Go away!" Carol cries. There's another knock at her door, this time followed by a voice.</p>
<p> </p>
<p>"I brought you dinner. Can I come in?" Daryl's voice calls softly outside the door.</p>
<p> </p>
<p>"He can hurt you. I'll watch him beat you up until you're gasping for air and begging him to just finish you," Ed taunts, moving to stand right in front of her, and he leans over her from where she's sitting on her bed.</p>
<p> </p>
<p>"He would never hurt me," Carol whispers. There's another knock on her door, and a voice saying they're going to come in, but Carol pays no attention to him as she locks eyes with Ed.</p>
<p> </p>
<p>"If he doesn't hit you, I will."</p>
<p> </p>
<p>"You can't," Carol says, and Ed drops his hand to her thigh. Carol flinches and shoves the ghost hand that she can't feel away from her.</p>
<p> </p>
<p>"Carol?" Daryl asks. Carol doesn't look at him as tears stream down her face, and she glares at Ed.</p>
<p> </p>
<p>"Carol, who's there?" Daryl asks, and Carol glances over to where he's standing by her dresser, setting a plate on it. She regrets looking away from him though, and out of the corner of her eye, she sees a hand raised back, ready to swing at her.</p>
<p> </p>
<p>Carol violently jerks her body away to avoid the blow and squeezes her eyes shut and screams out in fear as she feels a hand touch her shoulder, and then another grab hold of her other one.</p>
<p> </p>
<p>"Carol! Carol, it's me. It's Daryl. I'm here," Daryl urgently says. Carol flinches at the tone of his voice, but Ed's voice is nowhere to be found.</p>
<p> </p>
<p>"Carol, I'm here. I've got you. You're safe. You're safe," Daryl whispers, rubbing her shoulders. Carol's eyes stay sealed shut as she drops her chin down to her chest and starts taking deep breaths. She feels Daryl's arms slowly enclosing her in his grasp, and her forehead bumps against his chest, and she starts sobbing in his arms as he takes her in.</p>
<p> </p>
<p>Carol turns her ear to his collarbone, and Daryl holds her tightly as she trembles in his grasp.</p>
<p> </p>
<p>"You're safe, sweetheart," Daryl whispers, pressing a kiss to her hairline even though what's got her worked up made her sweat. Carol opens her eyes and looks around her room to see that Ed's no longer here, and it's just her and Daryl. She starts relaxing into his touch, feeling less panicky now that Ed's gone. She closes her eyes for a moment and sucks in a long breath before pulling herself out of Daryl's space, even though she'd give up everything she's ever had just to be able to be held by him for so long. She's afraid of overstepping though, so she doesn't dare stay in his bubble for too long.</p>
<p> </p>
<p>When she's sitting on her own again though, Daryl leans in and cups her face and she closes her eyes as he wipes her remaining tears away with his thumbs, and he tucks some hair behind her ears before he pulls back.</p>
<p> </p>
<p>"Who was in here?" Daryl asks quietly. Carol looks down at her hands and contemplates lying, but she knows that he could tell that she wasn't alone.</p>
<p> </p>
<p>"Ed," She admits. Her hands start shaking after she says his name, and Daryl's hands cover hers, stilling them. His thumbs pad over her knuckles.</p>
<p> </p>
<p>"How long have you been awake?" Daryl asks. His question is met with silence.</p>
<p> </p>
<p>"Carol."</p>
<p> </p>
<p>"Since sundown two days ago," She says. She hears Daryl sigh, and she thinks he's upset with her.</p>
<p> </p>
<p>"I'm sorry," Carol whispers, feeling guilty that she let him down.</p>
<p> </p>
<p>"How many pills have you taken today?" He asks, and there's a tone in his voice and she can tell he's worried.</p>
<p> </p>
<p>"I don't remember. I took some around midnight. More in the morning. I took one a few hours ago. Two more—maybe ten minutes ago," Carol says, and she feels him gently squeeze her hands.</p>
<p> </p>
<p>"Why are you hurting yourself?" He asks, sounding heartbroken, "You could get sick."</p>
<p> </p>
<p>"I-"</p>
<p> </p>
<p>"I don't want you to get hurt. You mean too much to me, and I wouldn't be able to just carry on if something happened to you," Daryl says. Carol's eyes start watering.</p>
<p> </p>
<p>"I can't sleep," Carol croaks, and her voice breaks as fresh tears make their way down her face, "If I go to sleep, all I can see is everything I don't want to happen. I don't want to keep waking up crying every single day!" She cries, balling her hands into fists and propping her elbows up so she can rest her forehead against her hands.</p>
<p> </p>
<p>She cries for a little bit, and Daryl watches her, not knowing what to say.</p>
<p> </p>
<p>When she's calmed down, Daryl talks to her.</p>
<p> </p>
<p>"I don't know how to help you. I wish I knew how to make it better. You don't deserve any of this," He tells her softly.</p>
<p> </p>
<p>"Of course I do. I'm a monster, and this is my punishment. I deserve all of it."</p>
<p> </p>
<p>"You're not a monster. You shouldn't have to be so scared to get some rest. You look like you feel like shit, Carol. I know you're exhausted, and it hurts seeing you like this because I know you're a good person who wants the best for everyone. You're not a monster, sweetheart," Daryl says to her.</p>
<p> </p>
<p>"It doesn't matter if I want what's best for everyone. Everyone I love dies because of me," She trembles.</p>
<p> </p>
<p>"It's not your fault," Daryl says. They're both quiet until Daryl breaks the ice.</p>
<p> </p>
<p>"Are you hungry?" He asks. She shakes her head.</p>
<p> </p>
<p>"I want you to go to sleep," Daryl tells her after a minute. Carol's body stiffens. "I'll stay with you and make sure you don't get hurt. I promise you'll be safe," He assures.</p>
<p> </p>
<p>Carol looks up from where her face rested in her hands and she looks at Daryl with a sad face.</p>
<p> </p>
<p>"You don't have to. I can be alone," She whispers.</p>
<p> </p>
<p>"You're not going to sleep if I go," Daryl says. Carol knows he isn't wrong.</p>
<p> </p>
<p>"Lay down, sweetheart," Daryl whispers. It takes her a moment, but she lays down and watches Daryl. Her heart starts racing as he stands up and walks over to the door, but she calms down when she realizes that he just got up to turn off the light. She's relived that he didn't get up to leave. He walks over to the other side of the bed and takes his shoes off. He then lays down as far away from her as he can get, and he crawls under the blanket.</p>
<p> </p>
<p>"Are you okay?" He asks.</p>
<p> </p>
<p>"Yeah," She replies quietly.</p>
<p> </p>
<p>"Daryl?" Carol says after a moment of silence.</p>
<p> </p>
<p>"Hmm?" He hums.</p>
<p> </p>
<p>"What if I have a nightmare?" She asks. Just thinking about it worries her.</p>
<p> </p>
<p>"You won't, but I would wake you up if you did," He offers. Carol turns on her side and looks at Daryl, who's only a few feet away from her. He's staring right back at her. Carol tries to offer him a smile, but it's a weak one.</p>
<p> </p>
<p>"Daryl?"</p>
<p> </p>
<p>"Yeah?"</p>
<p> </p>
<p>"I'm cold," Carol hinted.</p>
<p> </p>
<p>"Do you want me to go get you another blanket?" Carol smiles at his selflessness.</p>
<p> </p>
<p>"No, you don't have to get up," She replied, beginning to doubt herself. Daryl starts scooting over to the middle of the bed and gently rubs Carol's arm.</p>
<p> </p>
<p>"Come're," He breathes, holding his arm up for her to fall in to. She goes into his arms without being told twice, and she snuggles against him.</p>
<p> </p>
<p>"Go to sleep, yeah?" He says softly into her ear. She nods.</p>
<p> </p>
<p>"I will. Thank you." Carol settles her head under his chin and enjoys the feeling of Daryl's arms holding her to his body. After taking a deep breath, she closes her eyes and finally, after over a day, settles into a peaceful slumber, wrapped in the security of her best friends grasp.</p>
  </div><div class="fff_chapter_notes fff_foot_notes"><b>Author's Note:</b><blockquote class="userstuff"><p>Hey friends, it’s me again, and it’s been a while. I wrote this at a very early hour in the morning, so I apologize if there's any misspelled words. I might add a second part if anyone wants one. Thank you for reading! Feedback is appreciated as well : )</p></blockquote></div></div>
</body>
</html>